The Myth of the Health Outlier

scene from vacation

I open the attic storage area door and weasel my way through the crawlspace.

On my knees and reaching over boxes of clothing and piles of luggage, I see the suitcase I’m looking for and attempt to heave it out into the bedroom without knocking my head on the ceiling, or jutting my foot through the insulation on the floor.

As I pull the suitcase out of the attic, it flies open and a few papers float down towards my feet.

What a cute little ribbon at the top, what is this?

I pick up the papers, and memories start to flow as it all registers.

Keepsakes from our trip to Montana last year.

Exactly one year ago.

These were our dinner menus, outlining every fabulous, decadent morsel of food we indulged in each night.menuranch 6-24-2014 9-39-16 AM

Oh, I wish I was there!

We are actually staying closer to home for vacation this year, driving instead of flying, and the reason I went to the attic in the first place was because I need to start packing, we are leaving soon!

I sit down on my bed with the menus, trying to picture myself there today.

That trip to Montana brings back amazing memories.

And the food, a definite highlight.

Last year, I threw food worries to the wind, you know, because it was vacation.

And tried to combat the decadent meals with lots of morning walks and some exercises on the deck of our cabin.

Once home, I definitely had trouble getting back to realistic eating habits, and learning how to right-size portions.

I most definitely gained weight.

I was stressed out at the time, and remember writing about it.

Hoping I could right this wrong within a few weeks.

But what I have learned since last year, is there were no wrongs.

It would be unrealistic to ignore delicious foods like this all week.

It would be unrealistic to not expect a little weight gain on vacation.

It would be unrealistic and unhealthy to starve myself when I return home, to quickly lose the weight.

And I shouldn’t get mad at myself.

Because this is Normal. This is living a good, happy, balanced life. This is to be expected.

Once home, back on routine, when I’m patient.

Those jeans will be comfortable again.

Do you find your weight changes seasonally?

My weight tends to go up a bit in the summer, when my routine is interrupted with vacations and travel, and there are so many amazing seasonal foods and farmer’s markets to attend.

And in the summer, I like more freedom, less structure in my workout routine.

And then I usually get more lean when it gets a little chillier and I enjoy the challenge of working out indoors.

It sounds like my normal might be backwards compared to many, who tend to gain weight in the winter months with all the comfort foods, and cold weather.

When I realized this was the case a few months ago, that weight fluctuates up and down seasonally and that it’s not the end of the world, I stopped getting mad at myself. Stopped striving for perfection all year long.

And just this tiny change in expectation and acceptance, has made a world of difference in how I see myself, and judge my success while maintaining my health long-term.

Now that I’m feeling super-comfortable in my skin.

Cutting myself some slack.

Understanding my personal rhythms.

I read something super-frustrating.

Maybe you saw it? There was a study posted this month by the CBC entitled: Obesity research confirms long-term weight loss almost impossible.

The report basically says, barring a few exceptions, we will all gain weight. And if we try to lose it, we’ll just gain it back again.

It’s pretty much inevitable.

Only about 5% of people can “maintain” their weight loss.

Here’s an excerpt:

For psychologist Traci Mann, who has spent 20 years running an eating lab at the University of Minnesota, the evidence is clear. “It couldn’t be easier to see,” she says. “Long-term weight loss happens to only the smallest minority of people.”

We all think we know someone in that rare group. They become the legends — the friend of a friend, the brother-in-law, the neighbour — the ones who really did it.

But if we check back after five or 10 years, there’s a good chance they will have put the weight back on. Only about five per cent of people who try to lose weight ultimately succeed, according to the research. Those people are the outliers, but we cling to their stories as proof that losing weight is possible.

This also states that doctors don’t want this news to get out to the general public because people will stop trying:

Health experts are also afraid people will abandon all efforts to exercise and eat a nutritious diet — behaviour that is important for health and longevity — even if it doesn’t result in much weight loss.

Traci Mann says the emphasis should be on measuring health, not weight. “You should still eat right, you should still exercise, doing healthy stuff is still healthy,” she said. “It just doesn’t make you thin.”

As you can imagine, from my experience over the last few years, learning to maintain my weight loss after pregnancy, learning to accept myself, and navigate all the different life variables thrown at me each day, as well as the mental baggage that comes with trying to make sense of it all.

I read this report and learn my happily fluctuating weight approach, the one helping me stay sane and normal might put me in the failure category.

I don’t blame doctors for not wanting it publicized they think 95% of us are failures. If they are going to allow this information out, they should have given us all better details on what constitutes success, and good health. Not just a flashy headline, ensuring a great number of people will give up trying.

Every adult I know has made attempts to lose weight at some point in their life.

Men and Women.

I see success around me, every day. and it’s not that I live in a colony of outliers, as they describe this 5% who succeed, it’s because the definition of success and failure is not as black and white as they describe.

What defines success in this study?

Do we have to stay within a certain weight range? And for how long? Or do we have to stay on one number forever?

What if someone loses 50 lbs but then gains 10 back? Is she a failure, because she gained some back? Or a success because she maintained this for 10 years?

I have gained 8 pounds in the last 2 years but still fit into the same clothing, This is due to weight lifting–am I part of the 5% who is a healthy size or one of the 95% who can’t sustain weight loss?

What if you gain weight, maybe that same 10 pounds, going up and down periodically but are still considered healthy by your doctor? Are you a failure because you can’t sustain weight loss?

Scales fluctuate all the time, sometimes daily. Sometimes hourly…no wonder this report says it’s impossible to succeed!

I’m not going to listen to the headlines.

Whatever we do to keep ourselves active is good for our heart. Our bodies. Our flexibility. Our minds. Our disposition. Our energy-level.

And the food we eat? We lead social lives and sometimes, like on vacation, we shouldn’t have to worry about some number on the scale staying the same, all day, every day.

Much of the time, yes?

But all the time? I don’t see how this is possible.

If someone is told to lose weight for their health, any amount of loss achieved is worth it. Even if they might gain a little back here and there because there is more to life, and more to good health, than that fluctuating number.

And there is much more wiggle room than the headlines reveal.

Anyone who strives to keep their health top-of-mind, can be labelled a success.

It’s not a myth. It’s not impossible.

Unless defined in a short-sited way.

On that note,  it’s time for me to get back to that suitcase and let the packing begin.

The Montana menus will go in a scrapbook for now; I’ll have to trade them in for fried clams down on the beach next week instead. And perhaps leave the jeans at home in lieu of more roomy skirts…

Let the summer begin!

How do you handle the balance of fun foods and staying healthy during vacation? Do you find your weight fluctuates seasonally too? What do you think about this study on long-term weight loss, is it impossible? What strategies do you use to keep yourself in check throughout the year?

Would love to hear your ideas and discussion….and happy summer!

Words from Strangers

No jeans for a few weeks, just waders...

No jeans for a few weeks, just waders…but I’ll get back to them soon…

I have been wracking my brain, wondering what I need to do to snap out of this lazy post-vacation summer trance I have been in for the last few weeks, when I remembered this conversation with a stranger that made me smile, and finally commit to stop whining about feeling down, and start to refocus.

On the way to Montana a few weeks ago, on the plane from Charlotte to Denver, my family had two seats in the front, while I had an aisle seat about 10 rows back. I was looking forward to this separation, anticipating some rare uninterrupted time with 1Q84, the thousand-plus page Haruki Murakami novel I had started a few weeks prior, and with my family around, my kindle would  likely remain off.

Towards the end of boarding a super-thin young gal with long straight dark hair, worn cut-up jeans, a tight red knit blouse, and spiky- high heeled boots, plopped her bag into the middle seat next to me.  The grandmotherly woman in the window seat and I did that polite-smile-thing everyone does on an airplane, and we each went back to our reading, hoping we didn’t need to engage in any conversation just yet.

After an hour or so, and a little more snoozing than reading, I woke up and looked around. The young gal, noticing I was awake,  glanced over to me a few times, smiled and out-of-the-blue just asked, “So, what are you, like 27?”

I looked at her, a little stunned, first of all that she would think I was that young, and second of all, that she dared to ask my age. Didn’t she learn you just don’t do that?

“Ummm, no”, I replied.

“30?”. I looked up at her again.

“35?” I was silent. “higher?” nod.

I don’t think I ever gave her the true number, but she was visibly stunned and I was a bit embarrassed by the reaction.

“Wow, you look sooo young!” She shook her head in amazement.

You can imagine I was more receptive to abandoning Haruki and engaging in a little conversation after she mistook me for the older-sister type, as opposed to a mom type ( after some conversation, it sounded like her mother may have been my age or younger).  I learned that this gal is actually 20, and she was on her way from Louisville, Kentucky to Montana to surprise her boyfriend, and go live with him for the summer.  She was a bundle of nerves, wondering what his reaction to this very big surprise was going to be. I would be too…can you imagine taking this kind of risk?

Today, as I think of it, I actually wish I took her contact information just so I could find out what happened!

But instead, I’m back here in Vermont, having a tough time getting myself back in my health routine and feeling worn down.

I have been back to exercise every day, but I have taken it slow, it’s not very intense.

My diet has been a mess, I still haven’t been able to kick that dessert habit I developed from vacation.

Why I have been slow to make these changes I don’t really know. Some of my friends and family would say a few weeks of lazy mindless diet and inactivity is what I need, because they think I worry about it too much, and I have to admit the allure of doing so is appealing. You are thin! You shouldn’t have to work so hard! You could use a plate of cookies…no worries! I hear them say…

But sadly I know the truth.

Letting go is great in short spurts, but if I do this too long, laziness will become a habit. I have heard it takes about 21 days to build a habit–good or bad–and I’m nearing the limit on settling into some bad ones!

Thinking back to the young woman on the plane, and that conversation about looking young makes me realize I have lost sight of a few things over the last few weeks.  I forgot that feeling young, and looking young is a choice (even if I know in fact, I do not actually look 27…), and one I want to stick with. I remember too well how I felt before I made these change in the first place, and do not want to find myself back there again. Yes, the motivation this time is a little vain; I typically like to say my fitness quest is for health reasons, but how can I not like the idea that people think I’m younger, I mean, why not let that motivate me for as long as I can get away with it?

So starting today, here’s the get motivated to feel young so I don’t feel like a lazy blob plan that should get me back to feeling like myself again in a week or two:

  • Get more sleep! This is one issue I have been slow to address but it keeps resurrecting itself every few weeks. I don’t get enough sleep and have dark circles under my eyes pretty much every day. I will plan go to bed earlier on some nights, and address the source of my new, unwanted insomnia habit. I’m positive this is the main reason I have been in such a slump.
  • No dieting, but monitor foods and cut the sugar- now!   Back to monitoring my food diary again, something I have let lapse in the last few months, to make sure I realistically know I’m keeping to the right food quantities. On vacation, portions get bigger and the reality-check of quantifying will get me back in line with appropriate portion sizes again.
  • Keep moving. It has been so hot and humid. Keep going on the exercise schedule, but make sure to start in the morning instead of later in the day when it feels like it’s 90 degrees. I just started a new exercise program, called Focus T25,  that I hope will work–it’s only 25 minutes a day of formal exercise to make sure I have some structure to the schedule. And then the rest of the time I’ll spend making sure to keep active all day with Brett: creature catching, river walking, mushroom hunting, berry picking….just hoping that humidity goes down soon so it’s a little more bearable!
  • Keep away from the scale. I don’t weigh myself anymore. Ever. I know many people live and breathe by the scale and it would be tough for them to stay away from it. But this works for me…  no good is going to come from seeing + 5 lbs on the scale.
  • And finally, stay away from jeans.  Instead of depressing myself further by spilling out over the top of my jeans,  I’ll avoid them at all cost and stick to the yoga pants and skirts for now. And maybe if it stops raining and the river behind my house goes down, we can just go fishing every day, I can hone some of my skills learned on the Firehole River a few weeks ago, and I can wear my ever-forgiving baggy waders until I’m ready to be seen in jeans again…that would be fun, I think every gal needs a pair for weeks like this…

So there you have it in writing. I’ve got the plan now!

And here’s one more little call out to that sweet gal on the airplane, who I hope is happily still in Montana with her boyfriend.

Your inadvertent compliment to a stranger on an airplane a few weeks ago resonates still.  These words are just what I need for inspiration to refocus this week.

Thank you!

Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger that inspired you in some way?

Have you given a compliment lately, or recieved one that made a big impact?  

Please share your story and add to the discussion on how you manage to re-energize after a vacation or a lapse in focus.

If you are reading this by email, please click on the comment button and tell your story!

Vacation Reset

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Today I sit. And sit, and sit and sit.

Staring out into space.

Wondering if I’m glad to be home.

And wondering how to snap out of vacation-mode and get back to real life.

Yesterday, my son and I endured a time-warp kind of day in the hands of the airlines, starting in Idaho Falls, then Denver, then Charlotte, then eventually Albany, where tired and dazed, we collected our 100+ collective pounds of suitcases and bags, and stepped into the Albany Park and Fly van, where the driver eventually brought us to our car.

Oh great, another hour and a half of driving to go. We hadn’t eaten anything but a few snacks all day. I mentioned in some of my other posts my son has a peanut allergy. When leaving the house for a trip, we always pack a supply of safe foods in a bag to ensure he has something safe to eat along the way. But on our way home, we didn’t have the time to replenish, and just had a few snacks left, and after a week of dragging around the same granola, crackers and dried fruit, neither of us were interested in eating them. I doubt any of you have noticed this, because you don’t have to worry about food allergies, but every restaurant in every airport has a sign that says basically if you are allergic to anything, we have it in our facility so eat at your own risk! So we keep airport-restaurant eating to a minimum, picking up a Greek yogurt if we can find it, and that’s about it.

Once in the car, we headed north on 87, through Saratoga Springs, and then over to Washington County. Around a half hour from our house,  Brett finally looked up and complained he was dying of hunger.  He had been such a great kid all day. Barely eating anything and not really caring. I had been surprised; he’s not typically shy about whining when he needs something. But at the moment, there was nowhere to stop, so I rummaged through my snack bag and eventually pulled out a piece of provolone cheese.

It looked ok. I had packed it before I left and usually cheese is ok for awhile outside the refrigerator, right? I had been munching on some cheddar a few minutes before and it tasted good.

But then: Sudden scream from the backseat.

“The cheese went bad Mom!! My stomach is killllling meeee!”

Oh come on,  really?  I have just spent 14 hours traveling, carrying bag after bag, one on each side of me and around my neck, plus a booster seat, so if I was unbalanced in any way, I would have toppled over. And I spend all day every day of my life, and especially on vacation, trying to keep this kid safe from peanuts and nuts when we eat outside the home. And then he keels over from bad cheese?

He continued to moan, flailing around in his seat for the next few minutes. The realization: this might be serious.

Did I really just poison my son?

I had been blasting Steve Earle’s Burnin’ it Down before that, visualizing Steve burning down a Wal Mart in a town pretty similar to the one I was driving through, but had to turn him off. Brett’s eyes were closing. He leaned over into the middle console. Should I stop and make him get out? Well, if I can make sure to hear his breathing, that works.

He fell asleep.

I listened to him breathe as I drove.

And all these horrible scenarios played out in my head about what would happen if he wasn’t ok. And what I would do.

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An ominous welcome home to VT

About 10 minutes from my house, along Vermont Route 30. The sky darkened and rain started hammering the windshield. Is this a sign? Should I have stayed on vacation?

We finally reached the house at around 9pm; I woke Brett and wrestled him out of the car. He perked back up within a few minutes. Whew, sigh of relief! I pushed through the front door, leaving the car doors open and all the bags still out on the driveway, and headed immediately to the refrigerator. Having been away for the past week, the fridge had been empty and sad, but I saw some eggs, and made us a few omelets. Brett was so hungry, he ate two of them, and since we were still on mountain time, we stayed up late snuggling, talking about our trip, and making up for lost time with the pets in the house who all needed a little care.

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Our home last week!

Aside from the drama on the way home, this has been an amazing week. As soon as school ended on the 13th, we took a day to pack, and then flew out to Montana, staying at Firehole Ranch, on Hebgen Lake, and visited Yellowstone National Park. My husband was there too; he stayed for a few extra days, so had to miss the dramatic drive home. In Montana, I had one day of fly fishing with an amazing guide and now feel like I finally could do this myself. We had no access to internet. Maybe one bar of cell service; enough to send a text in certain rooms of the house, or check email, but that’s about it. I’m feeling completely out of touch with everything.

With the News. With Facebook. With Twitter. With WordPress. With my Fitness friends.

With my exercise agenda. With foods. Oh, the foods from this week! I can’t even begin to tell you what we ate, and I tried to keep up on activity with walks and some exercises out on the cabin deck, but as my heart rate monitor would display at the end of the week, it was an “incomplete training week” at best.

This morning the jeans are tight. I’m still craving desserts and wine.

But I’m looking out the window now and it’s beautiful here in Vermont too.  I needed that break from civilization and media and devices. And I wouldn’t admit it before, but the break from fitness and schedules and balanced eating was kind of nice too.

It was a tiring and stressful journey yesterday to get here, and we are both still in a zombie-like state of mind, but we are both safe.

Maybe it is indeed good to be home.

For the next few days Brett and I will stay on mountain time, and gradually re-emerge from vacation-mode to home-mode in a more focused way, but not today, tomorrow sounds about right…